My wife and I happened to be passing through Moorgate Underground station (in London) last night. Just before we walked out of the exit we heard the best station tannoy announcement ever. I have tried to record it as accurately as possible, it went like this (imagine a total deadpan voice):
“Passengers are reminded not to excrete their body fluids at any place within this station, this is because this is … … … erm, disgusting”.
You had to be there I guess, but we laughed all the way home.